The first day together

The new question from Red Letters Campaign is Do you have any tips / advice / suggestions for your “Gotcha Day” for people preparing to travel to pick up their little one. . .This could include things that made your day special, an easier transition at home, etc. Tell us what worked (and what didn’t) for you.

This has been a great opportunity to reflect on that special day almost a year ago, now! (We met David July 20, 2007.) Looking back, here's what I can offer:

• We brought a special bear/blanket from home as a comfort item for him. It had been waiting in his bed for a few months and he's had it with him every day since that first day. It may have smelled like his new home and his new parents.
• We took pictures with him and his care givers--letting them say good-bye and writing down names, as this will be special for him to know, one day. The Ayah you see him with in these pictures nuzzled him and whispered something to him. She smiled a big, brave smile as she handed him back. I put my hands together, bowed and said, "thank you" to the woman who mothered my son until I could.
  
• We tried to keep him warm as he went from no air conditioning to an air conditioned hotel and back out again into the heat. Little jackets were helpful.
  
• We didn't change his clothes right away and I kept his shirt from the orphanage in his bed since I thought it might be a familiar smell for him.
• We were very quiet--especially that first day. We spoke very softly to him and kept all stimulation to a minimum (no tv, music). We knew all the change would be overwhelming and didn't want to add to that.
• We tried to keep his schedule and diet as similar as possible--using local formula and foods. We asked about his schedule, diet and portions when we picked him up. We also asked how they put him to sleep and for some "comforting words" in his first language so we could try to say familiar things to him.
• We decided to call him by his given name while in India and slowly transition to his "new" name after we got to the U.S.
  
• We tried to let him sleep in bed with us or to lay near him when he slept or napped so we could be very responsive when he first woke up since he was probably pretty disoriented. We picked him up and had his bear blanket right there.
• We didn't worry too much about self-soothing behaviors we saw that first week. He would rock on all fours or rock backward while sitting up and bump his back and head against whatever was behind him.
  
• At least one of us tried to sleep when he slept so we could be fresh when he woke up.
• We brought a small container of laundry detergent. We had lots of "blow outs" and spit up as he was adjusting to eating more food. We had our laundry done at the hotels, but still needed to wash some things right away. I threw away a couple of outfits b/c it wasn't worth washing!!
  

Note: he was 10 months old when we got him and I honestly don't know how much of what we did helped or didn't help.

Here are some pictures of those first hours and days.

Our first time to see him:


Meeting Mommy. He loved my necklace.
Meeting Daddy


His Ayah

Daddy and bear on the ride home

He slept a LOT that first week. I loved every second of it!