Green, Day 2

I was dropping my kids off at school yesterday and had a passing conversation with a friend that changed my day. She asked if I was doing anything fun that day. I heard myself quickly answer, "no." Her non-verbal response was so subtle but surprising that I walked away asking myself, "Why can't I do something fun today?" Really.

I sometimes discover myself believing that fun is only for special occasions, and still not guaranteed. Even then, it's really supposed to be fun for the kids, not for me. My fun is supposed to be watching them have fun. That fine. But there's more.

I'm finally getting to the place where I can ask myself "What do I want?" and have a meaningful answer. There's a spiritual component to this, too. As a person seeking to know God better and be an authentic follower of Jesus, being honest with my wants, my desires feels vulnerable. Is it okay to want? Yes. It's honest and safe to take those desires to the One who knitted our very being, our souls and minds and bodies together. He knows the best ways to satisfy our souls. Trying to find the answer on our own is the equivalent of looking for fun on my backyard swing-set when God wants to take us to Disney World. It's safe to want. It's safe to take those desires to God. When they are met, I also meet God, the one who "restores my soul."

Yesterday I had fun. Doing the things I love (after I did some of the "have-to's") that God designed me to do. I wrote. I took pictures. I sewed. I set the timer so I could stop in time to pick up the kids. It was a good day. Thank you, Holly, for asking an important and needed question. I appreciate it!