The whole weekend was really special and a dream come true in many ways. A few years ago I was a struggling young mom at a women's retreat with a new baby and sleep deprivation as well as relational and spiritual dryness. I heard other women share their stories and insights and was so moved by them. "I go to church with this person almost every week and I had no idea all of this was right there under the surface!" I thought. I found myself praying that someday God would give me something of worth to share with other women and an opportunity to share that thing from Him. It was a strange prayer to pray. I was being honest with God, but was embarrassed to ask. Are you supposed to pray for that kind of thing? Is it prideful? Selfish?
I've heard a couple of women share lately that they feel like there's more to them than the one or two facets of life/roles they function in most often. They have this sense of expectation that God has more for them to do and they are waiting for it to unfold. It's like being pregnant with a dream, except you have no idea how long it will take for this dream to fully take form and take on it's own life. In the last couple of days, I've felt prompted to ask God the dangerous question of "what next?" for my life. I hesitate to ask, because I'm content where I'm at with the roles and commitments, etc. on my plate. I'd rather just try to be a nice person and do good things when I can. It's vague and feel-good. It's hard to fail at trying. But how can I not ask? The words of Psalm 25 come to mind at this place in the journey. If you have a minute, take a look.
2 comments:
I love your blog. Sharing smiles as I read! Go with the tomato plants. The kids and I started the same seeds in the same starter kit and are having the same results you are! Not at all discouraged that my Mom with the ultra green thumb said she has never had success with starting her plants from seeds, I shall trodd on. Keep writing. I love it! Nikster
I'm feeling some of those same things, as well. I haven't had a chance to listen to the talks, but I plan to. I'm sure they were amazing. I know that I've been blessed by the way the Lord has used you to speak wisdom, clarity and truth into my life in the past.
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