Advent Part 3: Peace

This is the week I usually lose it. I lose the wonder and the calm. The measured pace as we progress toward Christmas Day. I start realizing how much is still undone. I start staying up later and later. Working harder and harder.

About this time last year, on a crazy evening when all three kids were going 3 different directions and leaving a trail of chaos and noise behind, my doorbell rang. Our neighbors were at the door with yummy cookies, warm wishes for the season and a gift. I unwrapped a dove-shaped Christmas ornament made at an art program for kids with special needs and inner-city kids. It had the word "peace" stamped on it in wobbly letters. peace. now. in this chaotic moment.

"Don't forget," my heart whispered, as I hung it on our tree in humbled silence. Peace. Delivered to my door by friends. Crafted by a child. Whispered to my heart by the Prince of Peace. A word and a promise so needed today. It's worth saying again (I need to hear it as much as anyone): it's not about the gifts and the cookies and the cards and the decorations. It's much bigger and far more profound than that. What's most needed by all humanity is within reach. peace. now and forever in our hearts and minds. in our homes and relationships. between neighbors and nations. Let it be-- now and always starting with me.

Advent Part 2: God in the Mess

Back in late October the kids and I took a trip to the zoo. One last trip for the season to enjoy the sparkling sunshine and golden leaves. We had a good time and ended by playing on the playground. I brought my camera, just in case. While watching the kids play, I saw another mom sit her two very young children on a bench with a golden tree above and colorful leaves all around. She snapped several pictures of her smiling, calm, attentive children and they went on to play.

I was inspired to try to follow her lead. Sure the kids were in crazy clothes, but I wanted to be in the moment. The moment could still be magical, right?

You can imagine me trying to prompt, cajole, encourage, demand...here are just a few of my attempts.





We never did get a good picture.

What does this have to do with Advent?

Well. Real life is messy. Even at Christmas. For some reason, I seem to try extra hard to smooth the wrinkles of real life. I want everyone to be happy. Thankful. Every activity to be joyful and filled with wonder. Everyone looking at the camera and smiling in coordinating outfits in my clean house with the laundry done, perfect decorations. The right gifts. Christmas cards mailed with short, meaningful personal notes to each recipient.

Reality crashes in. Everything isn't really ruined. It's just so...normal. My kids are my kids. My house is my house. Not the movie kids or the magazine house. The decorations are the same as last year. And yet, there is something special and set apart about this season.

It's the reality that God's Son entered our world. Our reality. Our mess. He became human and dependent. Fragile. He was born in a very common place. Not terribly clean. His parents were new at this whole thing. God came to us. He wanted to. He stayed. He let us mess up. He still loved us. He lived and laid down his life for messy people like me.

Emanuel. It means "God with us." Perhaps, this year, Christmas is not for trying to cover the mess or wish for perfection. Perhaps it is to wonder at a God who knows the depth of my mess better than anyone and still showed up. Still loved. Still holds out his hand to me and you.

Maybe my idea of a "perfect Christmas" will transform from cleaning up messes to looking around and pondering the idea that God is here with me right now.

Advent Part 1: Light

Last Sunday was the first Sunday of Advent. Advent has different meanings for different people. For my oldest daughter, it means chocolate. She loves the $0.99 cardboard calendar that has chocolate behind every window.

For me, it's been a lot of things. Few of them have really been full of meaning, honestly. It's been formal. A tradition (which is not a bad thing). An attempt at being purposeful in a season where meaning can get swept away in business and good intentions.

The more I've heard people I respect talking about it--particularly this year--the more it's finally absorbing into my soul. We've observed Advent a little differently each and every year it's been a part of our family's traditions. This year, we're taking a little bit of time at a Sunday meal to light a candle and talk about the story of the first Christmas. I think I was hoping that sharing the story with my kids would make it more meaningful to me--fill my soul. It's brought the story to life. There's nothing like holding a baby on Christmas to make you think about that young mother and another miracle baby so long ago. For me, I'm realizing that sharing the story with our kids is just one part of the Advent experience.

Here's what I'm doing this year. I'm focusing on just one word each week. This week (yes, I know it's Friday already...) I've been focusing on the the word Light. Advent uses light and darkness to capture the essence of the season. We are in the days of dwindling light before Winter Solstice on December 21. The more frequent grey days are very affecting for me--how about you? Each minute of true sunlight and blue sky is so needed and refreshing. We need light. We need it. Sunlight impacts our body's ability to process vitamins. It affects our very being. Our chemistry.

What about our souls? Jesus was called "the light of the world." My soul has been following the seasons. Getting darker and colder and stiff. Wanting to hibernate. I need the light. I need it to warm my soul. Soften the hard places. Light the places that are void. Show me where my soul needs some more attention. Burn away the impurities. I want to relax into the light--like laying on a warm beach letting the sun soak deeply into my skin.

I think Advent is observed over weeks because we (at least I) need time to move from darkness to light. From the hard, deep, cold into warmth. It doesn't happen in one day. In one meal. In one observance. It's a daily process to soak into our souls and bring us back to life. Back from the dark nights of our souls into the light.

Welcome to the light. Jesus. Please bring light to my soul.

When is an apron more than an apron?

When it's an invitation to create.
When it's a bridge from childhood to womanhood.
When it transports you to another kitchen in another time filled with smells and voices and memories.
When it makes it safe to be messy.
When it is part of awakening your imagination.
When it is the first step in making new memories.
When it makes you feel pretty.
When it makes you feel brave.
When it becomes an heirloom to hand down to a little girl in your life (stains and all).

Put on an apron and get messy with someone you love. Here's a lovely blog with a fun muffin recipe.

If a little one in your life doesn't have an apron, you can order one from my shop and give a very special gift for the holidays.

(This is an apron of my mom's I've worn since I was a little girl learning to bake. I wore it to help in the kitchen this Thanksgiving.)

New Inspiration for You

There are so many good and interesting blogs out there. I often loose hours of my day reading about the lives and thoughts of others. It's an escape. It's inspiring. Sometimes intimidating.

Here are three new blogs on my Inspiration list that you may want to check out. They are all completely different from one another, but that makes them even better in my book.

Yarnstorm is by a British woman named Jane Brocket. She's written a book called, The Gentle Art of Domesticity. She's a photographer, gardener, reader, knitter, cook, wife and mother. I found her blog through another blog I read from time to time. I was sold when she used the word haberdashery like people used it everyday. First, I couldn't get the word out of my head! And second, her observations, photography and british-ness made me smile. I hope you enjoy it, too.

Mercy Rising is by a woman who lives here in the Indy area. She spoke at our MOPs group a few weeks ago and I was really impressed by her. She is passionate about equipping people to bring justice and mercy to the world in big and small ways by incorporating these values into everyday life. Two quick examples:
1. Goodsearch.com This is a search engine similar to google or yahoo. The first time you go to this site, enter a charity of your choice. I entered International Justice Mission. Every time you search advertisers will donate $0.01 to that charity. It slowly adds up and you can even track how much has been given. The site remembers your charity, so you only have to enter that info once. It's a simple way to give.
2. FreeRice.com Instead of playing solitaire when you need a break, go to this site. Exercise your brain a bit on multiple choice vocabulary words. Each time you answer a question, rice is donated by advertisers to hungry people in the world. It's great for students as well. There are various levels and subjects.

Organized Christmas.com I discovered this site last fall. I used some of the ideas before, during and after the holidays. It's very practical and do-able. There are links to print-outs for lists to keep track of Christmas Cards, Gift budget, To Dos, etc. See if it helps you at all. It actually was my introduction to the Mayfly blog because she had a pattern for a smock that Organized Christmas suggested as a DIY gift. From that blog I discovered others and the rest is history.

Autumn Joy

No other season is as exciting to me as autumn. The colors, the smells, the temperature, the anticipation of seasons and celebrations to come. Closure on the birth and maturity of spring and summer. Harvest. Apple cider, pumpkin bread. Sweaters and quilts. Raking: I love the rhythmic sound of the rake, the crunch of the leaves under my feet. I love watching the kids play in the leaves. Each tree takes on its own voice and personality as it transforms and sheds its leaves. The shorter days remind me to make the most of every moment. The cool nights invite me to light candles and revel in the soft light under a quilt or in a cozy sweater.

What do you love about autumn? Why?

For Adam's birthday, he and I went away for the weekend to Turkey Run State Park in western Indiana. We stayed at a charming Inn. Ate fantastic burgers and ice cream at Tammy's Twist and Sizzle (pumpkin pie ice cream for me. Yum!!) We hiked and took tons of pictures. We slept in. We read and lounged on the second floor porch.

I finished a great murder mystery (The Virgin of Small Plains) and almost finished a hat.

Two thoughts from the hike: 1. I loved feeling small and noticing the colors and contours of this amazing corner of the planet we live on. I took a few minutes to pause by a small creek and listen to the water. The familiar passage from Psalm 23 came to mind: "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul." I felt restored.


2. We came past a huge tree that had been blown over in a wind storm. The effect was stunning. There happened to be a park ranger nearby. He mentioned that this tree had no tap root to anchor it. Even though it appeared to be rooted firmly, it only had surface roots. The only root that holds a tree during the tough storms is the invisible one that goes down deep into the earth. The spiritual parallels are so clear, aren't they? I can appear connected and rooted, and so can you. It's the invisible root that holds you and me firm in the hardest storms. How are you doing on that? It's given me pause lately.

Go, go, go!

Our little guy is on the go non-stop. He is crazy about cars, trucks, motorcycles, police cars, fire trucks...you get the picture. It was only appropriate to have a "car-theme" birthday. Here's how it went down:

The cake:

"Stoplight" Jello
Bulldozer ride-on. Awesome!
Motorcycle-oh, yeah!
Bike with handy steering for the grown-up. Nice.
He also got 2 great books with lots of pictures in them to keep building that vocabulary. We read them before nap and bedtime EVERY day. I now know the difference between an excavator and a skid steer and a bulldozer. Love it! It was a fun day. We missed our dear family that couldn't share the day, but want you all to know we love you.

Birthday Boy

A big happy birthday to our handsome son.

It never ceases to amaze me how one can love another so completely and then grow in that love more and more every day, every year for a lifetime. Again I find myself the giver and the recipient of that kind of love.

A car-theme birthday party is coming on Saturday. Today there were kisses, birthday candles, singing and some small gifts before the big fun on Saturday. I'm pretty sure he said more new words today than ever before. I'm looking forward to this year with him.

Fun and Easy Craft

Check out this link to a fun craft. I'm all about the practical stuff in a fun package. The cards would be a good hostess gift (I never know what to give in those situations...do you?)

Does anyone have a suggestion on a place to buy tags or blank cards/envelopes that are reasonably priced? (as in, not more expensive than the gift itself!)

Have a great day!

Celebrating!

Today a little boy I've never met from a place I've never been is sleeping in his new bed with his new mom and dad very close by. Every journey is special. Every homecoming profound. To see his little smile, you can look here. Welcome home Joshua. We can't wait to meet you!!

And They're Off...

I've been sort of coasting since we returned from Florida. Trying to soak in the summer and my kids. It's been both busy and restful. There are more pictures and stories to come, but today, let me share the happy faces of our girls' first day of school. E was so nervous about Kindergarten for a long time. I kept trying to figure out the right thing to say. Nothing worked. Finally I realized I hadn't prayed about it at all. One of the recurring themes of parenting for me is that my kids are God's first. He designed them. He can do for them what I can't. I can't change E's fears or insecurities, but God can. How? Why? I don't know, but I've seen it happen over and over. So I prayed. She changed. She used to refuse to even go into the Kindergarten room. Today she woke up smiling and confident. So excited her little body could hardly contain her pride and anticipation. It makes a mother's heart happy. It also grows my faith a little more.


David and I took our time walking back to the car. The pace of a (nearly) 2 year old rarely gets indulged. Today was the day to go David-speed. We ended up at the Indianapolis Museum of Art. This is truly one of my favorite places. We parked and just walked the beautiful grounds. As a kid I loved the book The Secret Garden. The grounds of the IMA are like that for me...paths and wonders, sculptures and wide open green spaces that let me breathe deep. There was some outdoor construction happening, so my little guy got to see some real tractors in action. This makes him as happy as hydrangeas and flagstone paths make me. It's a good day.

Home from Florida

We're back home after a lovely and relaxing 10 days in Florida. A HUGE thank you to our friends who let us stay at their wonderful condo. The highlights for me were introducing (and re-introducing) our kids to the warm, wide ocean. Carolyn was fearless. Emily was content to stay on the beach. David was busy going back and forth between the two. Emily did great in the swimming pool. She wore a life vest and it gave her confidence to do the backstroke all over the pool. She also ate her first sushi! We had seared ahi and she was a big fan. The other highlights for me were sunset at the beach and finishing the Digging Deep book. I had an afternoon to myself at a bookstore. I sat in a deep leather armchair, sipping my iced coffee and, for the first time, drew a first draft of my dream garden in the back of my journal.

As kids, we're told to not tell our wishes or they won't come true. I think the opposite is true. Taking my dreams from vague ideas to something tangible brought them one step closer to reality. Speaking one dream makes me realize there are many more waiting to be spoken. And pursued into reality.

In-Joy

In the last few months, I've finally found this part of myself that had been asleep or silenced for a long, long time. Letting myself create is bringing me to life in new ways. For me, the only thing better than this experience would be to bring creativity in it's many forms into community with you and those you know.

So, with the help of friends and the permission of emily, erin and tracy, I'm announcing the beginning of In-joy: A collaborative creative project open to anyone. This is in the spirit of Wordplay, a creative experience I've enjoyed watching several artist-bloggers create. The idea is that a word is given with 6 weeks to process and create something that uses that word in some way. The parameters of what you create and how you create it are wide open. A poem. A song. A photograph. A collage. A painting. A quilt. Anything. Really.

My hope is you will let yourself be free to create and not just enjoy what comes out at the end, but that you will learn something about yourself in the process. I'm really as interested in the process for you as in the outcome.

You are invited to post pictures of your creation on a picasaweb page. I wanted posting to be as easy as possible. Just email me at christin dot nevins at gmail dot com to get the id and password. To view postings, go to this link.

The word for this first In-Joy is light.

Postings are due on or before August 19, 2008. You can post as many creations as you'd like.

I'll give a new word on August 20.

Can't wait!

Recent Projects

I've been having a lot of fun working on different projects, lately. I've also been trying to take more pictures when I notice beautiful things. Here are some of the results.

This hydrangea came from my great-grandparents' home in Colorado. They lived in the same house for...at least 40 years, maybe longer. They grew these huge, beautiful hydrangea bushes in the front of their house. I have many childhood memories of walking around and around their yard, looking at beautiful flowers and gardens, gently touching, smelling, watching bees gather pollen. After my great-grandfather passed away last year, my mom brought these cuttings of his bushes here. I didn't know if they would make it. They flowered this summer and Carolyn brought this flower in to me one day. I put it in this little glass in my kitchen window. It is one of many, many reminders that my great-grandparents are still with me in so many ways and so many forms. (Sniffle. Smile.)

I sewed my first skirt using fabric from my "pile of good intentions." Fabric I impulsively bought thinking I would make something, and years later it still is folded in some corner or closet...I used this book, which was very helpful and empowering. Funny story. It's a drawstring skirt, so it needs to be a little roomy at the top to get past the hips...Somehow I WAY over compensated on those measurements and here was the result:

Yeah. A little more roomy than I was planning on...but it makes me (and my husband) laugh almost every time I put it on...More skirts to come!

Finally, I knitted these washcloths as part of a wedding gift using organic cotton with natural dyes. I loved the colors, the feel of the yarn and using tiny bamboo needles. The patterns were from the purl bee. Love their projects and tutorials!


Thanks to all for your support and encouragement in exploring this part of myself. Tomorrow I want to propose a group project of sorts...stay tuned!

The first day together

The new question from Red Letters Campaign is Do you have any tips / advice / suggestions for your “Gotcha Day” for people preparing to travel to pick up their little one. . .This could include things that made your day special, an easier transition at home, etc. Tell us what worked (and what didn’t) for you.

This has been a great opportunity to reflect on that special day almost a year ago, now! (We met David July 20, 2007.) Looking back, here's what I can offer:

• We brought a special bear/blanket from home as a comfort item for him. It had been waiting in his bed for a few months and he's had it with him every day since that first day. It may have smelled like his new home and his new parents.
• We took pictures with him and his care givers--letting them say good-bye and writing down names, as this will be special for him to know, one day. The Ayah you see him with in these pictures nuzzled him and whispered something to him. She smiled a big, brave smile as she handed him back. I put my hands together, bowed and said, "thank you" to the woman who mothered my son until I could.
  
• We tried to keep him warm as he went from no air conditioning to an air conditioned hotel and back out again into the heat. Little jackets were helpful.
  
• We didn't change his clothes right away and I kept his shirt from the orphanage in his bed since I thought it might be a familiar smell for him.
• We were very quiet--especially that first day. We spoke very softly to him and kept all stimulation to a minimum (no tv, music). We knew all the change would be overwhelming and didn't want to add to that.
• We tried to keep his schedule and diet as similar as possible--using local formula and foods. We asked about his schedule, diet and portions when we picked him up. We also asked how they put him to sleep and for some "comforting words" in his first language so we could try to say familiar things to him.
• We decided to call him by his given name while in India and slowly transition to his "new" name after we got to the U.S.
  
• We tried to let him sleep in bed with us or to lay near him when he slept or napped so we could be very responsive when he first woke up since he was probably pretty disoriented. We picked him up and had his bear blanket right there.
• We didn't worry too much about self-soothing behaviors we saw that first week. He would rock on all fours or rock backward while sitting up and bump his back and head against whatever was behind him.
  
• At least one of us tried to sleep when he slept so we could be fresh when he woke up.
• We brought a small container of laundry detergent. We had lots of "blow outs" and spit up as he was adjusting to eating more food. We had our laundry done at the hotels, but still needed to wash some things right away. I threw away a couple of outfits b/c it wasn't worth washing!!
  

Note: he was 10 months old when we got him and I honestly don't know how much of what we did helped or didn't help.

Here are some pictures of those first hours and days.

Our first time to see him:


Meeting Mommy. He loved my necklace.
Meeting Daddy


His Ayah

Daddy and bear on the ride home

He slept a LOT that first week. I loved every second of it!

Have you heard of this?

Sometimes I discover something, think it's amazing and want to tell the whole world and find out I'm the last one to discover it. "Hey, everyone, check out sliced bread!! Have you seen this?"

So my most recent discovery, thanks to my sweet husband, is Pandora Radio. Free, simple. No commercials. You start an account, type in your favorite musician or song and it creates a "radio station" of that artist and similar artists. You hear a song you don't like, click "thumbs down" on that artists' picture and the song stops and won't play again. It's a great way to discover some new artists and listen to whatever you are in the mood for. Amazing.

Red Letters Campaign

This might make me sound old, but I'm still going to say it. The internet age and it's results are truly amazing to me!

I'm part of a forum of families who have adopted chldren from India through Dillion International in 2007. A couple of those women became adoption journalists for an organization called The Red Letters Campaign. Those mothers invited the other mothers to be a part of this and to add their voices to the experience of adopting from India. Wham. I'm part of another circle of people passionate about meaningful care of orphans and widows; about ending poverty; about mobilizing those who are willing to do what we can with the lives and voices and opportunities and resources we've been given.

So, from time to time I'll be blogging about our adoption experience or process. On my first blog entry I mentioned that I am an adoptive mom, but not only an adoptive mom. Do you remember? :) I don't want any one role to completely define me or own me, but I can't deny that our experience and journey is part of who I am. As other families start down this road any and every voice that can aid in the journey is helpful. I know I couldn't get enough of others' insights and thoughts during the times we were processing or waiting. So I hope this helps a little.

Thanks for reading.

Lately

Last week our phone line/internet started acting up. I was effectively disconnected for about 5 days. I didn't know how much I leaned on my access to email and blogs to feel connected. It was a quiet week and by the end loneliness and frustration were creeping in. My neighbor kindly brought over some parenting magazines Thursday as we were trying to escape the house into the yard to play. I started crying. Lovely. The kind of crying where I can't pull it together but don't have an actual reason to cry...See if she brings over anymore magazines. Seriously, it was a seemingly small thing that meant so much in that moment. Our lives are filled with those, aren't they? We can give and receive in ways that mean so much. The key is letting those people know how much they mean. Has someone made you laugh or given you a hug or carried some of the weight in your heart or mind lately? Take a minute to call or email or send a card to let them know.

Here are a few pictures from last week to catch up on the fun.

We made bread. It was perfect. Waking up to the house still smelling like freshly baked bread the next morning was a bonus.

More pictures of the library.

It's a beautiful combination of old and new. I love how the skyline of the surrounding buildings is reflected in this one. I love the view from the front steps. I love living just a few minutes from this place and other beautiful places downtown.

I just started ¨Digging Deep: Unearthing Your Creative Roots Through Gardening¨ by Fran Sorin. It's something that I hope will take me another step in my journey.

Sweet Summer Days

So my big idea for this summer was to take it easy, keep it simple. Minimal driving, minimal spending. I know I need a routine of some kind, so Mondays are "Library and Laundry Day."

The Central Library downtown recently finished remodeling and it is HUGE and stunning. The library is minutes away from our house. We eventually packed a picnic, gathered the troops and a big blanket and headed out. I'll try to take more pictures of the library next time. I was trying to keep David in arm's reach this time. He is an escape artist!

Here are some pics from the picnic and lovely time afterward rolling, running and climbing.

Pack a picnic and join us anytime!