It's Coming...

About this time next week I hope and expect to be completely absorbed in a great book I ordered as a little gift to myself. It's called The Creative Home by Amanda Soule of the blog Soulemama. She's the kind of person that inspires me and makes me smile, but also makes me feel like I could be doing more...She has 3 small kids, home schools, is an artist and author. She just finished the manuscript of her second book early this year. I want to point to her and say, "See, there is such a thing as a "supermom!"

I started a blog a month ago and am hoping to finish a knitted washcloth and someday work up the nerve to sew curtains...so...yeah. Maybe not achieving at her level, but I'm mostly okay with that. I always want to be pushed and inspired. I want to be constantly evaluating my choices and priorities and goals. I want to do new things and see with new eyes.

Honestly, it's hard to not look at someone else's life from the outside and compare it to my seemingly ordinary life. I know that's not fair or realistic and I would tell someone the same thing if they at all envied my life...but it's hard to take my own advice. Anyone relate?

More than enough

Easter night, after a lovely celebration with both Adam's family and mine, I was pondering the truth that with our car situation, we really are going to be okay. We can juggle what needs to be juggled with only one vehicle. On the days I needed help picking my daughter up from school, we now had help (and i really struggle asking for help). Deep breath.

Then I noticed the answering machine blinking. A friend had read the blog entry about the van. Her family was leaving for a week-long vacation the next morning and so she wanted to offer her vehicle for the week. "Sure," I said, smiling. "That would be amazing." Not just daily bread, but a week's worth of gourmet food to linger over and enjoy.

I'm so thankful. My heart is full. God always has what we need. He will work through willing, open-handed people. There is always enough if we would all share. What can I share today? What can you share? My major barrier to sharing is fear of loss or inconvenience. Living an open-handed, unafraid life is really living in my opinion. I feel more connected, more thankful, more aware.

Happy Surprise

I brought in the mail today and amidst the bills and junk mail was a happy surprise addressed to me! Mysteriously my address was also the return address. Inside was a lovely card and a gift card to a spa as an anonymous early Mother's Day gift. The note encouraged me to find something unsolicited to do for someone else. And I will.

So, thank you VERY much to my anonymous friend. What a generous and thoughtful gift. You may already know that, for me, anticipation of something special is almost as enjoyable as the experience itself. From now until my special spa day, I'll have the joy of knowing it's coming and I will smile.

And then there was one...

We became a one car family this week. Our mini van died this week and was promptly sold. We knew this day would come, but it's a bit disorienting. The plan we'd worked out to replace the van isn't fully ready to implement and the speed of the van's disappearance has caused a bit of re-orientation. It's on days like this that I SO wish Indy had a more user-friendly mass-transit system. We're still many years away, unfortunately.
In the mean time, this event has given me the chance to meditate on the truths found in Psalm 23. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want." God has provided the van, sustained the van (14 years old, 6+ years with our family). "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters." He knows what we need and will get us there. I need to follow and enjoy what is in front of me.
I'm also reminded of some of the phrases in the Lord's Prayer. "Give us this day, our daily bread." Rarely, in our culture do we have to really live this phrase. Living in the moment, trusting God will provide for today and truly not worrying about tomorrow requires a lot of faith and discipline. I have to choose to not worry, not try to fix tomorrow with resources I don't have.
I really believe everything will work out. This way is more of an adventure, but I've learned that adventures usually turn out better than I expect. I usually learn more about myself and God in the process, too.
Stay tuned for more installments of the car adventure!

St. Patrick's Day

Is THIS enough green? Adam really gets excited about celebrating St. Patrick's Day and he wears his green very well. Most of us don't really know exactly what this holiday is really about. I heard yesterday that most people in the U.S. "celebrate" St. Patty's Day far more than the people of Ireland. If you're interested, you can find a summary of the real St. Patrick's life here. I actually first learned about it from a Veggie Tales DVD. St. Patrick used the shamrock or clover leaf to teach about the Trinity. Here's my daughter's craft from school yesterday.

Amaryllis

My amaryllis bloomed yesterday. The wonder of new life returning season after season never stops filling me with joy. I always feel like it's Christmas morning when I see that first tender green shoot peeking out of a hopeless looking bulb. This beautiful plant also carries me from the endless grey days of February to hopeful days of late March when the tulips start to peek out of the frozen flowerbeds and I have another round of new life to celebrate.

I also love the story of this particular amaryllis. One of the members of my book club hosted a Christmas dinner party a few years ago. She prepared the most amazing gourmet meal and it was a generous and beautiful party. The host and hostess were Swiss. It was their cultural tradition that the guests all bring a small gift. Then each guest picks a gift and opens it at the party. I picked a shiny green box with a red bow and was delighted to find an "amaryllis kit." I've carefully and joyfully tried to coax it back to life every year.

The things that matter

I've had a back and forth relationship with the idea of blogging. I kept a blog during our adoption journey to our son. I like being able to share my thoughts with a community, but dread the idea that I'm disappointing people by not posting often enough. I was amazed and humbled by the number of people who followed our adoption blog.

I feel like there's more to me, though than that one journey. I am an adoptive mother, but not only and adoptive mother. I'm a mother of three beautiful children, but not only a mother. This is not to minimize any given role, but to give me a voice to share and process many ideas on many levels.

More and more, I'm realizing that the things that matter are the things that I too easily take for granted or leave unspoken. I don't want to let those moments or thoughts, compliments or stories pass me by. I think that one of the things that matter is being known. You may have heard of the Johari Window. The "known to others, but unknown to self" is where I'm hoping you will come in, dear reader. Comments and emails welcome.

Let me end with words wiser than my own:

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" -Martin Luther King Jr.